Beautiful Disaster
by Little Miss Escapist
Summary: Mikan's thoughts concerning a certain Natsume... a fluffy onesided NxM songfic


**Beautiful Disaster**

**DISCLAIMER: **I do NOT own Gakuen Alice(though I would really like to! -brick'd-).  
I also do NOT own the song Beautiful Disaster, Kelly does(I do own a copy of her album, Breakaway, though! -chainsaw'd-).

* * *

A certain hazel-eyed brunette was sitting under some random tree(and for no good reason in particular…well, unless you considered "resting" a good reason). This certain girl was the infamous Mikan Sakura, the oh-so-loud-and-clumsy polka dotted panty girl who had the Nullification Alice. 

What the heck was she doing asides resting, you ask?

She was using one of Hotaru's inventions, the HI Music Player(which obviously plays music). HI, of course, meaning Hotaru Imai. Though if you would prefer Imai Hotaru; just pretend that that was the case.

And the song she's listening to, you wonder?  
Beautiful Disaster by the great American Idol; Kelly Clarkson.

The moment Mikan heard the song and absorbed the lyrics, she fell in love with it, for it reminded her greatly of a certain boy…  
That one perverted freak(that she--ahem--secretly longed for--ahem) named Hyuuga Natsume, or if you prefer Natsume Hyuuga; pretend that that was the case.

_He drowns in his dreams  
An exquisite extreme I know  
He's as damned as he seems  
And more heaven than a heart could hold  
And if I try to save him  
My whole world could cave in  
It just ain't right  
It just ain't right_

She smiled at this.

Though he didn't really "drown" in his dreams, he relived his horrible past in his dreams, which was perhaps just as horrible as drowning. I mean, imagine a sea of flames before you. Imagine knowing that you caused that sea of flames, in the process killing—oh, never mind. It was too depressing for her to continue.

He really was as damned as he seemed.

And yet, he was too much for her to handle. She could barely control him. He didn't deserve her.  
But she did try, she did make an effort to make him forget his past, she did make an effort to make him happy. Actually, she made efforts for five years.  
And all she got were smart and rather rude remarks in return.

She laughed as she recalled all those times.

_Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what is after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster_

Now that she thought of it...

What was he after? Did he just want to hurt her? Make her cry?  
Or maybe…was he masking his interest in her?

Haha, no way.  
Dream on, she told herself.  
She highly doubted the last possibility, for she believed that she was just an annoying little girl in his lovely eyes.

Cough, moving on...

True, he was beautiful.  
If he wasn't, then explain to her why he had all those rabid fangirls.  
If he wasn't, then why would she try to bear with his rudeness; for his sake?

_He's magic and myth  
As strong as what I believe  
A tragedy with  
More damage than a soul should see  
And do I try to change him?  
So hard not to blame him  
Hold on tight  
Hold on tight_

Here came the part that made her frown ever-so-slightly.  
He was magic and myth.  
He was very strong.  
But…

He was a tragedy.  
His heart had been damaged so severely.  
Just the thought of it saddened her immensely.

But, that only made her want him even more. It even inspired her all the more to…to…

_Oh 'cause I don't know  
I don't know what is after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster_

…hmm…

Now what exactly…ah, now she knew!  
It inspired her to hold on through tears and the laughter, now matter what the outcome would be.  
Either beautiful; or disastrous.

_I'm longing for love and the logical  
But he's only happy hysterical  
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle  
Waited so long  
So long_

He was really such a tough nut to crack. She wanted him to love her, but, that was impossible.  
But she'd still wait for a miracle; she'd go on waiting, no matter how long it'd take.

_He's soft to the touch  
But frayed at the end he breaks  
He's never enough  
And still he's more than I can take_

The very rare moments she got to touch him were...  
…ethereal.  
Yes, ethereal, that was the perfect word.

As much as it disappointed her that there were only very few moments that she could actually enjoy his presence without a verbal argument, she knew that if that weren't the case, his presence, no, he would be too much.  
As if he wasn't already.

_Oh 'cause I don't know  
I don't know what is after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster _

Just at that moment in the song, the very teenager who invented the device Mikan was using took the device away.

"Hotaruuu! You're so mean," came Mikan's usual reaction to Hotaru's unusual ways.

"You should learn to stop yelling like that, idiot. You're already fifteen. Grow up," Hotaru replied in a bored tone. "Anyway, I need you right now."

That last sentence made Mikan extremely happy.  
"Really? You mean it?"  
"Yes. Oh, wait, let me rephrase that: I need your alice for my new nullifying invention."

Mikan sweatdropped. Oh well, typical of Hotaru.  
She was kinda like Natsume in a way, they were different, they weren't your usual students. She really loved that.  
Ooh, she reached a conclusion!  
Natsume, like Hotaru, was…  
A beautiful disaster.

_He's beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster

* * *

_

**Author's Notes:**

This is my first fic ever! XDD  
I'm really sorry for Mikan's OOCness while she listened to the song. I hope it doesn't bother any of you.  
Since this is my first fic, please do try to go easy on me. XDD

I'm already really nervous about this, so…yeah..

-Kaihei

**edit:**fixed a few things. If you see any errors, please tell me so I can fix it/them!


End file.
